“Your Wife Needs Meds”: Internet Gives Mom Reality Check After She Wanted To Raise Kids As Twins
|Every parent has to lie a little to their kids, life is just too complicated to explain everything. But there still is a line between not divulging every detail and building a web of lies because you think it’s interesting. Parents hiding that a kid was adopted is one thing, but imagine learning that your twin sibling is, in fact, not your twin at all.
A father asked the internet for advice after the birth of his second child coincided with his one year old son, leading his wife to propose raising them as twins. We got in touch with the dad in the article and he was kind enough to answer some of our questions.
Some parents might have unorthodox ideas about raising their kids
Image credits: Polesie Toys / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But one father needed a second opinion when his wife wanted to raise their kids as twins
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SupremeSmile
Twins are not at all that common
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with the dad in the story and he was kind enough to share some more details. “Since I posted that there’s only been a few updates. I brought up a lot of the points mentioned in the post with her. Specifically how friends and family wouldn’t be able to keep up the ruse for the rest of their lives. I learned then that her family is completely on her side. I’ve also told her that she can dress them up the same, have birthday parties together, and even call them “Irish twins” but if she ever tries to imply more than that, I’d shut it down quick.”
“I believe the post went viral because of the absurdity of the situation. There were lots of concerns on the mental health of my wife, especially postpartum psychosis, which shows that a lot of people were genuinely worried about her. I’ve taken a lot of advice from the posts, including setting up a doctor’s appointment and another appointment with our family counsellor. What was most eye opening for me was how common this apparently was. I’ve had countless messages of people telling me that they were raised as twins when they weren’t, and how damaging it was for them,” he shared.
Most people aren’t necessarily looking to have twins, since it’s not like an option you can pick from the “menu.” Indeed, most parents seem like they have enough on their plate with just one kid at a time. In the US, for example, in 2009, there were 16.7 sets of twins per 1000 births, which, incidentally, is up from 9.4 sets of twins in 1980. It’s important to note that this is not a worldwide trend and the rate of twin births varies wildly from place to place.
The vast majority of twins are female – male pairs, while only about a fourth are both male. Again, these statistics are taken from the US, and averages might vary in other countries. A lot of the factors are genetic, so, like this mom, if you are really insistent on having twins, you best ask your partner about their family tree. It’s also important to remember that not all twins are identical, although that causes its own host of hilarious issues.
Or, if you are this woman, you can simply use a lucky coincidence to spin a bizarre web of lies that is sure to never backfire in one way or another. While some of the commenters (examples can be found below) did give examples from their own lives on why it could work, the husband being dead set against it should have been the first clue.
There are so many issues with this plan that it’s hard to list them all
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Similarly, friends and family would find it just as weird and this mom might end up having to pick between these people and maintaining her own lie. This is a pretty heavy cost to bear, given the fact that, once they are grown, there is a decent chance that neither of the boys will want to keep pretending that they are twins.
Indeed, the idea is so half-baked, it’s comical. Will they start school together? Will the entire idea crumble the second anyone sees any official documents? More importantly, how will the kids react? Lies from a parental figure are no small matter, even if the mother didn’t mean any harm from it. Kids learning uncomfortable truths is important, but it’s best that there is a real lesson, not “mom wanted to play make-believe.”
The fact is that lying about something this existential to a child would most likely cause them to question everything else you’ve said to them in the future. A worst case scenario would be the kids discovering their parents’ deception on their own and confronting them. The mom’s “cute” twin idea would now become a moment of major conflict.
If she just wants to have cute “twin” photos, she can do that without creating some sort of bizarre scenario. Indeed, if they end up looking very different, her entire plan will just look more ridiculous than it already is. Hopefully, this whole plan was just a passing fad and the father will sufficiently put his foot down.