Just like millions of other Americans, the pandemic forced Holly Harper and her BFF Herrin Hopper to rethink their priorities. In fact, it wound up causing the two mom friends to rethink their entire way of life, which turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened.
Over the past few years, the women each found themselves divorced, newly-single moms who were burning the candles at both ends. And as if that wasn’t daunting enough, they were really feeling the pressures of rising costs, a lack of childcare options, and everything else the pandemic brought with it. So, along with two other single mom friends, Holly and Herrin decided to take a leap of faith: They bought a house together — and in the process, they created their very own “village.”
The women purchased the four-unit home in Takoma Park, Maryland, just last year
Of course, their children came along for the ride, too — as did two other single moms, who now occupy the other two units under a “rent-to-own” agreement.
Between the four moms, there are five kids, ranging in age from 9 to 14; which means that, at any given time, there could be a LOT of people under one roof.
Yes, it can be messy and loud and chaotic at times; but it’s also kind of awesome. (And not just for the kids.)
“There’s always someone to play a game with,” Harper recently told Today Parents, of why the kids enjoy it. “It’s just the most fun.”
The unique living arrangement has its perks for the moms, too
For one thing, it’s way more affordable than if they each individually rented or purchased a home. Now the mortgage is split four ways, just like all other household expenses.
The stress of homeownership also feels a bit lighter. If anything around the house needs fixing, the women discuss it at one of their regular homeowner’s meetings. Then, they either try to tackle it together, or find a repair person who will.
The perks don’t just end there, though
Whether they want to go on a date or simply get an hour alone to themselves, there’s always someone around to step in and co-parent. (And best of all, it’s someone they can actually trust.)
“From car-sharing and carpooling; potlucks and small favors; built-in babysitting and dog walking; sharing expenses; having friends to ugly-cry with and unlimited, on-demand hugs; and feeling safe, loved, and grounded in the family — I’ve never been happier,” Holly recently shared in an essay for Insider.
They call it the “Siren House” — and claim that it’s changed all of their lives for the better.
“Siren is a form of sort of feminist power, right?” Herrin recently shared. “We’re building a community, we sort of have the siren song, so we bring people together.”
The whole idea “was intended to help us build equity and share the burdens of homeownership,” Holly explained. But none of the women expected it to bond them together forever.
For Holly, her journey began back in 2018
At the time, though, it seemed more like an ending rather than a beginning. Her marriage of 17 years had recently come to a close, and she and her soon-to-be-ex-husband decided to sell their family home.
The decision left her at a turning point in her life, as she began to think long and hard about where — and how — she would like to live out the rest of her life.
“For as long as I can remember, I wanted the nostalgic, idyllic lives I’d followed on TV,” Holly shared with Insider. “I loved The Facts of Life, The Golden Girls, Grace and Frankie, and Gilmore Girls.”
When she thought about the next chapter, her mind kept coming back to these images.
“When my marriage fell to pieces, I vowed to be open to unique opportunities,” she continued. “Serendipitously, one of my closest friends shared my ‘commune dream,’ and she had separated from her husband around the same time I had.”
When Holly first mentioned the co-habitation idea, Herrin was intrigued
By April 2020, they were touring houses in the DC-area and put an offer in on the multi-family home in Takoma Park. By June of 2020, they had closed on the home and were making plans to remodel it.
“Legally, we are co-investors and have an operating agreement for the asset purchase,” Holly wrote. “We then created a sub-agreement by which we are considered ‘tenants in common.’ Essentially, we live in a condo building with an informal, but legal, agreement between us.”
Of course, all of the women are aware that the living arrangement is pretty unconventional (to say the least). Their realtor even had a good laugh over it when they first brought it up, telling the two friends, “You’re mad” and “I love it.”
In the end, it works for them — and that’s really all that matters
“There is almost a spiritual safety net every day here,” Herrin told Today Parents. “I could be my worst self, I could be my best self, and they see me for who I am, and it’s OK.”
The experience has also shown the women that there’s an incredible sense of freedom that comes from marching to the beat of your own drum.
Now they each feel empowered to do things their own way, and not just the way that society dictates.
“You can do whatever you want,” Holly told Today. “Burn the rulebook of life and just look at it differently.”
