“I understand why you feel the way you do, but you should have divorced him when you found out he had a child and he was going to build a relationship with them,” a comment reads. “Nta for your feelings, yta for staying with him and not expecting him to have parental roles that would overlap with you.”
“Your feelings are valid; your actions are despicable,” one comment began. “You are absolutely the AH for blaming this child for everything that has happened. I can’t believe you didn’t even have enough compassion for the child to divorce your husband given how you feel. Divorce him now and leave the poor kid to be raised by his probably more stable parent.”
Someone else wrote: “I’ve been thinking about this and to me yes YTA. If you choose to stay, you have to choose to forgive and not forever hold it over his head and punish him. But you are in your own way by how you behave towards his child who had no choice in being his child. You are by making him choose. You are by preferring him to punish his child and send the child far away. If you can’t truly move past it. Can’t live with the child AND TREAT THEM FAIRLY in your home. Then you shouldn’t be in this marriage. You should have left then. ”
“I’ll go against the grain a bit and say YTA,” another person wrote. “Not because you don’t want to raise the child, that’s fine. But your husband had an affair and had a child. You can absolutely choose to leave your husband and have nothing to do with him or the child and I’d be on your side. But you essentially forgave your husband and have chosen to instead punish the innocent child who had absolutely nothing to do with it. If you were unwilling to have anything to do with the child, I don’t blame you for that, but then don’t take your husband back.”