“NTA but if I heard your story, I would never think that you were the fool or think anything badly of you,” someone wrote. “I would think badly of all the people who knew but said nothing. So don’t feel like a fool – that would be you letting your insecurities get the better of you.”
“I think you need to determine if you are upset that they didn’t tell you, or upset that she potentially slept with your brother prior to you dating.. 20 years ago,” one person commented. “You’re NTA for being upset regardless, but figuring out the ‘why’ will help you move forward from here. Don’t be so quick to throw 20+ years of marriage down the drain.”
Another person commented: “NTA- having a secret held like that behind your back for so long feels like a betrayal. Mainly by your wife. I wonder if maybe the other members of your family thought she told you and didn’t feel like it was their place to step in and mention it? Can completely understand your need for distance though.”
“The whole family disrespected you and made you feel like a fool,” someone else pointed out. “Don’t let them try to minimize your feelings. It’s not one lie from 20 years ago. It’s hundreds of lies by omission at every holiday, every wedding, every funeral, every family dinner.”